I asked a relative who is also a midwife and was told it was because they were six week premature.  My husband and I really feel it wasn't necessary, when the baby would've been out with one more push. I've been brooding over this ever since.  I feel as if I've failed, I didn't want any intervention.

My mother said its a common procedure, that everyone gets one, maybe in her day.

Some birth attendants have figured out that it is not politically correct to cut episiotomies, so they just let women tear instead. This is still better than cutting an episiotomy, but it would be really nice if they valued an intact perineum even half as much as the women generally do.

Many midwives have learned techniques to help women avoid tearing so that over 70% of women in their care are able to give birth without any perineal tearing.  Some have suture rates as low as 10%.

This is one of those funny differences between OB culture and midwife culture - OBs tend to be proud of using more of their surgical skills, and midwives tend to be proud of using preventive techniques that avoid the need for all surgical techniques, including suturing.  So the OB culture just doesn't seem to have figured out how to prevent tearing. OBs who are in practice with midwives will often have picked up a thing or two and might have lower suture rates.

When women are shopping around for a birth attendant, it is really important to ask about the provider's episiotomy rate, their suture rate, and what they're doing to lower it.

P.S.  It's odd to use the word "given" with something that most people wouldn't really want.  I guess it's like being given a black eye.